Looking up

Wow. The night after that last blog, I was thinking to myself how I wish I was a crier. Something in me was wishing there was an outlet for frustrations and stressors to get out. I watched a comedy with my boyfriend, and a the end (being delirious with fatigue) I was commenting on a funny joke. However, the moment I would get to describing the part I was referring to, I would start hysterically craking up with no reason. The laugher turned into tears streaming down my face, which then turned into actual crying with manic laughter interspurced. It was a strange moment, but let me know that there is something I am not doing to help me release my anxiety. I think, as tired as I am at the end of my week, it would be wise for me to find time to exercise.
Things are better. I got paid today and if I budget wisely, I should be able to pay rent and continue on, although a few extra hundred dolalrs would be nice. oh well. Times will be tight, but at least I have a few days to catch up on work. I think if I really stick to time management, this semester will be over before I know it.
I also got to see clients for the first time Wednesday, and it went over quite well! It's going to be a process to adjust to comfort levels, and when to be assertive, how to structure the session, etc. But so far, so good. I think I have established open communication and have begun to lay a foundation for mutual trust. I'm gonig to get the hang of my process recordings, shich seem to be a means of monitoring transference. It's going to be a good learning tool, but also seems difficult to get started. Who can remember verbatim what is discussed in an hour and a half session? I think i'ts counter productive to be scribbling down every word just to record later as well.
It also surprises me that I haven't met resistence with anyone yet. It seems a lot of people really need an outlet for talk, sometimes to the point of aggressively chattering as if they have no one ot talk to at all when they aren't at program, which sadly could be true. I will be careful what I wish for, however. I'm sure there will be some tough nuts to crack.

more later.