Keeps on chugging along... I keep hearing my own sentiments echoed that this program barely feels overwhelming and more like undergrad. Maybe it's the feeling of public school again. At BMCC I felt similarly, at New School, I was more challenged and held more accountable. We are barely accountable for assignments and felt disconnected fom content. I like the whole blackboard aspect of blogging before class, because it keeps us engaged, but otherwise I'm having a hard time staying really invested, I hate to say. Everyone seems pretty cavalier about it. The school itself doesn't lend itself to forming an alliance among students really, who are too busy to treat it other than as a commuter school. I also am growing tired of this generalist work.
I enjoy my field placement, but know for a fact that being a caseworker at an agency for 40 hours a week, no surprise, is an exact example of what I DON'T aspire to do. It's pretty much like being a glorified secretary and is obviously something an MSW would be overqualified for, hence why the LCSW here is the supervisor. However, I love my colleagues and supervisor, I'm learning, I'm experiencing and I am enjoying my contact hours when I can get them.
My biggest dilemma with the program is my inability to support myself on $350 a week. I thought money at the restaurant would be as good as last year, but it's been really shitty, and I don't know what to do. I could work another shift, I suppose, if I could get it. I really do seem to find more free time than I could have imagined. Hmm.. Next year, that might become a problem though. I guess we'll just have ot see how rent gets paid this month.
Fuck.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Going going going...
I love Wednesdays here. I get to sit down with clients and go to groups. I've been really feeling more comfortable in my own skin around here, and I've been advocating for more responsibility and tasks, which I'm getting, yey! Doing my own research is nice, but not when I am trying to get all that I can out of this internship. I'm sure by the end, I'll know from start to finish how to handle a case, but for now, I just wish the learning part was more structured.
time for process recordings!
time for process recordings!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Gaining speed
So, after meeting with my supervisor on Friday, I have yet again reinforced how much I need guidance and structure, and to not be afraid to be assertive, make my presence know, and leave my door open. It has taken me a bit to realize my role here, and if I'm going to get on the ball here, I'm going to have to figure out a lot on my own. This is fine, I enjoy working alone, I just need to know where to start and would prefer some structure. Maybe I should mention that.
I had a great conversation with a friend last night by pretending, in a way, I was in a session. It makes really effective conversation with anyone when you are using good listening skills, and asking good, non-judgmental open-ended questions. I felt really confident and was aware of the levels of emotionality going on. I could tell when certain nerves were hit, or subject area was frustrating or unclear. I could draw out a list of goals based just on this one conversation, and that made me really confident in my upcoming meetings with clients. The important thing is that I don't get so wrapped up in my own processes that I forget to listen.
Its funny, there is a TON of down time here (hence the blogging) but don't want to give the impression that I don't want to be focusing on the agency. I will definitely express wanting to be more involved and needing some structure at my next supervisor meeting. I will also try not to stay up so late the night before my internship!
On the money front, I'll be just squeaking by. I was thinking about asking the parents for a small loan to get on top of things, but wouldn't you know, after being told that my private loan could go into deferment due to new rules involving grad school, all 8 people I talked to assured me of this and kept telling me "it's being processed" ten times, all of a sudden, deferment was never offered for grad students and now what was supposed to be retroactive payment deferment is now delinquent loans almost 30 days late! WHAT THE FUCK!!! This seems pretty fishy considering 8 people told me this thing was going through and I specifically mentioned my situation. couldn't have anything to do with Wachovia being bought and investment banks hurting, could it? Anyone who deals with your money will inevitably find a way to fuck you over.
Anyway. I guess that's just another thing I can't pay for. This country makes it impossible for people to be highly educated professionals. Medical doctors can't afford to go to school, let alone practice and pay of their $250,000+ worth of loans. Post-secondary education, even public, is an elitist institution promoting social darwinism. Survival of the trust-fund babies and independently wealthy. I'm moving to Montreal.
I had a great conversation with a friend last night by pretending, in a way, I was in a session. It makes really effective conversation with anyone when you are using good listening skills, and asking good, non-judgmental open-ended questions. I felt really confident and was aware of the levels of emotionality going on. I could tell when certain nerves were hit, or subject area was frustrating or unclear. I could draw out a list of goals based just on this one conversation, and that made me really confident in my upcoming meetings with clients. The important thing is that I don't get so wrapped up in my own processes that I forget to listen.
Its funny, there is a TON of down time here (hence the blogging) but don't want to give the impression that I don't want to be focusing on the agency. I will definitely express wanting to be more involved and needing some structure at my next supervisor meeting. I will also try not to stay up so late the night before my internship!
On the money front, I'll be just squeaking by. I was thinking about asking the parents for a small loan to get on top of things, but wouldn't you know, after being told that my private loan could go into deferment due to new rules involving grad school, all 8 people I talked to assured me of this and kept telling me "it's being processed" ten times, all of a sudden, deferment was never offered for grad students and now what was supposed to be retroactive payment deferment is now delinquent loans almost 30 days late! WHAT THE FUCK!!! This seems pretty fishy considering 8 people told me this thing was going through and I specifically mentioned my situation. couldn't have anything to do with Wachovia being bought and investment banks hurting, could it? Anyone who deals with your money will inevitably find a way to fuck you over.
Anyway. I guess that's just another thing I can't pay for. This country makes it impossible for people to be highly educated professionals. Medical doctors can't afford to go to school, let alone practice and pay of their $250,000+ worth of loans. Post-secondary education, even public, is an elitist institution promoting social darwinism. Survival of the trust-fund babies and independently wealthy. I'm moving to Montreal.
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